Remember When...

So, remember when I wrote this post on Relentless Disappointment, http://abrahall.blogspot.com/2019/05/relentless-disappointment.html .

?

It's rearing it's ugly head again, but it feels so early in the school year to feel it. Then again, I had an enlightening experience this summer that has cleared my vision when looking at students and people, their behavior and motivations. And above all, brings the epidemic of mental illness our children and friends are experiencing into sharp focus.

This summer I attended the Neural Education Institute and became an Advanced Neural Educator. In brief, it reframes the motivation of the teacher to focus on those who struggle most rather than the average or advanced to ensure success for all. It also stresses heavily the importance of understanding behavior is biological and malleable.

I sit in front of my students now and see them even more clearly. I look at each individual everyday and try to gauge where they are at emotionally. Are they ready to learn today? Or do they need to breathe. Do they need time to process, to practice, to vent? They cannot be expected to learn and concentrate on content if they are being hijacked by stress and emotions. I teach them mindfulness strategies, we take breaks, I try to limit the number of concepts I introduce in a single day. I fight my learned behavior of pushing through the content in a mad fury to expose them to everything they "need" to know, and try to instead  master what we have covered at a pace that is realistic and truly leaves no one behind.

But no matter how much I care, I can't tell if they hear me. I see their tired and sad faces. I focus on simply making them smile, or giving them a shoulder to cry on. And I find I am disappointed.

But not in them.

I'm disappointed in other teachers who don't see people when they look at their students. I'm disappointed when I seek help to support the ones who are hurting and am told, "They are just looking for attention," and, "those who actually follow through on suicidal thoughts are the ones you never knew were hurting." These perspectives are the reason those with mental illness are afraid to ask for help. The thing they fear and loathe most, in many cases, IS attention. 

How do you keep fighting for them when you are fighting against others in your same position? 

They show must go on.