Worth the Wait

So, I had anxiety about getting my next blog post done. I would brainstorm what I was going to write about. I must have done it about 10 times.
I'm glad I didn't.
I had SO many special moments these past two weeks that I know now it was worth waiting. (And please forgive the randomness...is that a word?)

I keep wondering why I teach. I keep forgetting. What helps me remember?

This last two weeks, I had euphoric days where I reached kids who others gave up on already. I had messy, hard days where I wasn't sure any of it was worth it. I give a LOT of energy in a single day, and I get tired. I just need a tiny bit of time to recharge.
So I sat in Argo's class. He feeds my spirit.
He doesn't have to say anything. Just watching him teach inspires me. He is so good at this. Why?
He has energy. And sarcasm. He cares. I've never seen anyone do release of control quite like him. He lectures with stories, and pictures, and videos, and action. He models what he wants them to do without them even realizing he is doing it. Then he gives them a question, and sets them free. Tiny little research projects ALL the time. Then some larger ones. It's really amazing.
He makes me want to be better. He reminds me that it sucks some times. But it's worth it. Even when he's not sure it is. Watching him makes me KNOW it is.

When Murphy jumped on the mission statement band wagon I knew I would hitch a ride. How do I put who I am and what I want to share and give in a simple phrase?

Last week after a rough morning, I sat with my second period and asked them a lot of philosophical questions - basically asking their input on how to motivate them, why they choose to problem-solve in some scenarios but not in others. We had a good chat, but the conversation turned to me realizing that I didn't know these kids well-enough. I can't help them be passionate if I don't know who they are. I spent the rest of the period talking with four girls, and getting to know them better. They didn't ask me about my favorite color, or about science, or biology. They asked me how many kids I have, where did I meet my husband, what do I think my purpose is.
WHAT?! "Mrs. A, what do you think your purpose is?"
I actually didn't even hesitate. "To see people," I said.

In a team-building activity last week, my department members and I were asked to write about each other - describing what we think each other brings to students.

Someone wrote under my name, "Simply loves kids into learning".

It was like someone has suddenly frozen me in a spotlight. That's it.
It's not my knowledge of content, or my ability to make a lecture exciting, it's not hands-on labs, or guest speakers, or jokes, or rules or "going outside". It's love.

My freshmen have been working for a week to figure out who the mother and father of a set of five lion cubs are for a storyline we are working on. I lead them through different types of data, purposely mislead them, let them struggle. It was beautiful. They had to problem solve. They couldn't trust me to give them to answer because I didn't even know it. I told them to figure it out.
Then I sat at every table. With every student. I stopped worrying about how much time the lesson took and made it my priority that EVERY student would figure out an answer. Themselves.
And they did.
I watched their faces when I saw the light bulb flash in their mind. When the adrenaline of understanding fueled them to keep going. And I didn't give them an A. Instead I asked how it felt? How did it feel to figure it out? "Feels good to figure it out yourself, doesn't it?" All they needed was someone to sit next to them and push them to keep going. To say, "Yes, you can do it".

And guess what!? In the mean time, they learned problems solving, persistence, grit, LIFE.
AND they learned content. Genetics, inheritance, animal behavior, population dynamics.
They. learned. Content AND skills. Not one at the expense of the other.

I love each of these students enough to care who they are, what they are going through.
I see the hard days, and the silly days. I want to make them laugh, and see them succeed.
I don't want to just give them answers, or tests, or grades.
I want to see them love themselves, believe in themselves.
That's when they start to succeed, and try, and reach beyond that which they never thought possible of themselves.
So, that's my mission, Murphy. "Love kids into learning"

I will strive to make my class worth coming to.
I will strive to make sure each of my students knows they matter.
I will strive to make sure they know I see them on the good days AND the bad days.
I will strive to provide a variety of experiences and opportunities for them to see the world, examine what interests them, problem solve, and be better.

They make me better. That's why I'm here. That's why I teach.